Monday, September 18, 2006

Bloodshot Eyes Crying In The Rain

I mentioned Saturday that Willie Nelson is stoned a lot. I thought this was common knowledge, but perhaps I was wrong, because within 48 hours of my post, Mr. Nelson was busted for marijuana possession.

The Fuzz, acting on the information I inadvertently provided them and a vague, anonymous report of an incident involving a "Red-Headed Stranger," (c'mon, that could be anyone!) seized some of dope and also some of the shrooms from his bus.

Nelson has long used euphamisms such as "cowboy" to describe people who, like him, toke on reefer.

In 1999, he was widely quoted as saying that his heroes "have always been 'cowboys,'" a statement contradicted by recent public service messages encouraging mothers to never "let their babies grow up to be 'cowboys,'" in which he and singer Waylon Jennings listed some of the negative effects of the drug.

Reached for comment, Nelson said "Marijuana is 'Always on My Mind,' especially now that I'm 'On the Road Again.'" After a fit of giggles which lasted almost six minutes, Nelson shouted "To All the Girls I've Loved Before," and declined to comment further.

Because his arrest is partially my fault, I suppose now I should point out that John Bolton really loves cocaine. That's why his moustache is bright white but his hair isn't. Go get him!

Our Mr. Nelson is gonna need some help with legal expenses, so click below to buy one of his albums and help him out.

I'm sorry, Willie. I guess I know which way you're gonna go on my request to be your friend on MySpace, and I totally understand.


The Moon Topples said...

Thank god I couldn't think of any more songs.

Anonymous said...


Did you see Colbert Tuesday night? Apparently he too mentioned Willie Nelson's potitude recently, and is taking credit for turning the authorities on to Willie.


The Moon Topples said...

That bastard is always stealing from me. Note that the original post is from Monday, not Tuesday.

The Moon Topples said...

Probably Conan O'Brien (a longtime fan of my blog) told Colbert all about my site and he just couldn't help himself.

Let me guess, he did a Threatdown about swords in gas stations?