Sunday, December 03, 2006

Ten things I would never do

Another borrowed meme:

Ten things I would never do

(which I stole from so many people that I don't know where to begin attribution)

1. Call someone "baby" in an unironic way. Unless he or she was an actual, documented baby.

2. Shoot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

3. Eat jellied eels. (Or any one of a number of other things which skeeve me out.)

4. Correctly spell "misspell" on the first try.

5. Succumb to that weird urge to jump when looking down from a high place.

6. Become comfortable around spiders.

7. Willingly give up my Mac.

8. Fail to give a long-winded, boring lecture upon hearing the names of any of my favorite musicians.

9. Skip dessert merely because I hadn't finished my vegetables.

10. Watch reality television (at least the mean-spirited ones).

Additionally, here is my list of
Ten things I would never do again

1. Intentionally hurt someone.

2. Steal from KMart.

3. Eat a whole can of chocolate fudge cake frosting in my underwear because I am sad.

4. Date a co-worker, or more than two women named Jennifer in a row.

5. Turn down a full scholarship to a college or university for no good reason.

6. Drunk-dialing.

7. Base my self-worth on the opinions of others (boy, I sure hope you guys like this one).

8. Choose good money over good people when considering career options.

9. Wear a jean jacket with a fedora for several years in a row (or probably ever).

10. Simultaneously give up on all of the things that are important to me.


Anonymous said...

Both good lists! Thanks for the link to Petrona.

Jennifer said...

Thank you for your kind comment.

I like number 4 on the second list. I envisioned the second Jennifer going all wobbly when you mistakenly called her by the first Jennifer's name. Not all Jennifers are so insecure, though. (I'm a Jennifer!)

Anonymous said...

I really like the second list (thought the first was good too) but I liked the second one for all the implied "wisdom" from that word 'again'.

The Moon Topples said...

Maxine: thanks, and no problem.

Zilla: The Jennifer problem was more to do with a friend calling anyone I dated for quite a while after, regardless of her given name "a Jennifer."

As in, "Oh, it was nice to meet Stacey, is she a Jennifer, or are you just friends?"

TLPW: That's more or less what I had in mind for the second list. For now, I have to settle for implied wisdom.

Nikki Neurotic said...

Gee thanks, now I have Folsom Prison Blues stuck in my head. Though, I suppose its a step up from Gnarles Barkley's Crazy.

Meany said...

That is hilarious!

CC2383 said...

What's a fedora?

The Moon Topples said...

Silver: Sorry about the sudden Cash infusion.

Meany: thanks. Unless you're being sarcastic. In which case, you truly are a Meany. (Your link doesn't take me to your blog, btw, because your profile is "private.") Thanks for stopping by anyway.

CC: A fedora is a hat. Think Indiana Jones in a jean jacket, and subtract the handsome and cool and you've about got it. Now grow his hair very long and put buttons all over the jacket, like he works at TGI Fridays. And then pity him.

Ellie said...

Haha, I like. I might have to steal the meme myself. I once dated a Bennet followed by two Bens, so I know how you feel. It was about 4 years ago, but my friends still make endless jokes about it.

Liz Dwyer said...

Fedora and a jean jacket sounds pretty cool though... I might recommend that one to my husband.