Saturday, February 03, 2007

GBA(s)FC Entry #6

Untitled
by Jessica

It started when I was a child.

Sugar plums dancing in my head.

Whatever the line was, it ruined me. Destroyed my chances at being normal. I had no clue what sugar plums were at the time, but I knew some kid was really fucking happy about them. And I knew they had sugar in them. The sugar factor sold me. Sugar was that elusive thing Mom always snatched from my hands and put onto a shelf just out of reach. (She often whispered about how I was getting “too chubby.”)

Aside from mouth-watering thoughts of sugar, the dancing part sold me as well. Dancing was the other thing in life that brought me great joy at age seven, and dancing was the other activity I was routinely denied. Because of my love for dancing my dad called me a “sissy” to my face and a “fairy” behind my back. Apparently I was supposed to spend my time on the baseball diamond, not begging for tap lessons or doing “the worm” across the living room floor.

Maybe I was a bit odd to begin with, even before the whole “Sugar plums” epiphany. But I still had half a chance. I knew not to dance in front of kids at school and I tried to control my chocolate cravings. I was being socialized for a regular life. But then that damn line sold me. It sold me, I was bought, however you want to put it. The day I paid attention to that line I solidified my fate as loner and freak.

Sugar plums sold me on what? One might ask. Imagining. Envisioning. Sitting around with my attention fully inside of myself, focused on the things that really mattered—sugary foods dancin’ and a’prancin’ around in my head. For once I realized I could ignore the cold hard world that denied me pleasure. “Sure Mom, Sure Dad, I’ll go catch frogs with the neighbor boys who tease me” became code for “I’ll sit on a log by myself with a shit-eating grin on my face because I’m immensely enjoying the theatre production of Thin Mints dancing in my head.” Thin mints literally dancing. Ballet, square-dancing, doing “The Hammer”—you name it, food did it in my head. I spent hours watching sweets twirl and leap, bebop and groove, and enjoyed every minute of it.

Needless to say, smiling for no apparent reason while ignoring my surroundings did not help me in the popularity department. Unfortunately, this practice haunts me to this day. I’m at work and my boss yells at me? Donuts pirouette so fast frosting flies off of them in all directions. I’m out to dinner with a (rather attractive) date and she begins talking about reality television? Slices of three-milk-cake do the Crocodile Rock before front flipping into my mouth.

People read my story and scoff at how pathetic I am? Frosted Gingerbread Men moonwalk off the table into chocolate pools, in which they synchronize swim.

2 comments:

kyklops said...

Jessica, your story was one of my favorites. I hope you're not as fixated as your story's character! ;-)

sexy said...

情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情色,A片,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,A片,情趣用品,a片,情趣用品A片,A片,AV女優,色情,成人,做愛,情色,AIO,視訊聊天室,SEX,聊天室,自拍,AV,情色,成人,情色,aio,sex,成人,情色免費A片,美女視訊,情色交友,免費AV,色情網站,辣妹視訊,美女交友,色情影片,成人影片,成人網站,H漫,18成人,成人圖片,成人漫畫,情色網,日本A片,免費A片下載,性愛情色文學,色情A片,A片下載,色情遊戲,色情影片,色情聊天室,情色電影,免費視訊,免費視訊聊天,免費視訊聊天室,一葉情貼圖片區,情色視訊,免費成人影片,視訊交友,視訊聊天,言情小說,愛情小說,AV片,A漫,AVDVD,情色論壇,視訊美女,AV成人網,成人交友,成人電影,成人貼圖,成人小說,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人遊戲,愛情公寓,情色貼圖,色情小說,情色小說,成人論壇A片,A片,A片下載,做愛,成人電影,.18成人,日本A片,情色小說,情色電影,成人影城,自拍,情色論壇,成人論壇,情色貼圖,情色,免費A片,成人,成人網站,成人圖片,AV女優,成人光碟,色情,色情影片,免費A片下載,SEX,AV,色情網站,本土自拍,性愛,成人影片,情色文學,成人文章,成人圖片區,成人貼圖