Technology = weird

As part of my preparation for Lollapalooza, I looked into various ways I might be able to use my phone to communicate with the outside world. It turns out that I have two different ways to update my blog from my weird little mobile device, and three different ways to update via Twitter/Facebook statuses. That seems like at least two too many ways to stay "in touch" during a three-day music festival. Woodstock, this ain't.

It got me thinking about the various ways the digital age has completely changed how things are done. Practically nothing remains the same as it was twenty years ago, when they were still pressing vinyl for any album that came out and photography was a weirdly poetic alchemy of chemicals and paper and darkness and time.

But fear not, gentle Blogreader. This is not a post of weepy nostalgia for a simpler time. Frankly, most everything is way more convenient nowadays. If nothing else, it turns out that digital was the main thing that kept me from taking a lot of pictures earlier in life. I simply did not have the time or money to invest in it back in the pre-digital days. Film was expensive, let alone darkroom fees, paper, chemicals.

Blah, blah, blah. The long and the short of it is that I might fling some words or pictures up here from my phone during the weekend.

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So Lollapalooza starts in a few scant hours. We have not been blessed by the weather gods. Tomorrow should be gorgeous, right up until it rains. Saturday and Sunday are both scheduled to peak above 90°F. I'm hoping that our proximity to the lake will provide at least a small amount of relief. Even so, I expect to sweat out a lot more than the one liter of water that the rules allow me to carry into the festival with me.

Lolla rules also prohibit me from bringing in my good camera, so I spent a little time today dinking around with the consumer model I used to use a lot. I discovered that I no longer know how it works with any certainty, so I'm not sure if I'll get any decent shots or not. But I sure will try.

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Speaking of things I never expected to have the word "electronic" attached to them, I have begun a transition to electronic cigarettes. They provide the part of a normal cigarette to which I am addicted, without any of the stuff that is striving to kill me. So that's nice.

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Tomorrow's lineup includes Gaslight Anthem, Heartless Bastards, Fleet Foxes, a tough call between Andrew Bird and Of Montreal (that I suspect Mr. Bird will lose by virtue of not being the kind of performer one benefits from seeing in a festival), and a headliner matchup between Kings of Leon and Depeche Mode. The current plan is to see a bit of each of the latter two. Am hopeful this will be enough to sustain my friendship with Los Angelista. There are also dozens of other bands, but the list above are the ones I'm most interested in seeing. Fleet Foxes, especially, who had one of the best records of last year.

Sorry, Decemberists.

More soon...

A letter to the internet, and some questions answered

Dear Internet,

Is it really such a funny joke to have my wireless network collapse on the day that I quit smoking? I am not famous for being an overly patient man under normal circumstances, and your little prank was really not appreciated.

Small slip this morning, Blogreader, after the networking problem combined with a coffee difficulty to reduce me to tears. But I am back on the wagon, back in control and moving forward.

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Minx answered a series of questions posed by Clare, and invited me to do the same. Here goes...


1. What is the Book Whisperer?
The Book Whisperer is a mythical creature who can suss out the hidden meanings contained within virtually any book. A friend to high school English teachers and students. The most famous Book Whisperer, Cliff, has put together a series of small books containing the secrets teased out of many tales. If you didn't understand the part about the ducks in "Catcher in the Rye," a Book Whisperer can help.

2. Why can I smell when it is going to snow?
You can't. What you are smelling are the bodily secretions of the Snow Mite, a tiny creature dormant for much of the year, but who performs a vital function in nature by preparing the ground for snowfall. In the period before a snowfall, these guys work very hard, and end up sweating a lot.

3. Tell me about a road that leads to a world where there are no ideas.
Sometimes, the same road leads to your day job.

4. How can I get a memory out of my head?
Alcohol and time. Alternately, many memories can be removed by thinking of a pop song you dislike. The song will slowly expand in your brain, taking up all available room.

5. Where is Shallowland and what lives there?
My best guess is American suburbia, land of soccer moms and SUVs.

6. Who is the man that lives inside the sun?
Well, I guess he'd be a cousin of mine, since I live in the moon. Oh, you're asking who he is? Frank.

7. When did you first know who you were?
A Thursday at 8:23 am.

8. Why do gnats fly in spirals and never hit each other?
Practice.

Wait. Why do they not hit each other? Well, because that would hurt.

9. What is love?
Magnetism.

10. How can I capture a free spirit?
Tie a string to a stick. Use the stick to prop up one end of a box. Place a lure on a small dinner plate on the ground under the box. When the free spirit comes to investigate, pull on the string, releasing the stick and closing the box. By definition, though, once you've captured one, it is no longer free.

Sooooon

I'm still a few hours away from stubbing out my last cigarette. My guess is 8 pm or so, depending on how much I try to slow down and make my remaining butts last. There is temptation on both sides, although most of the weight falls on the side of burning through them and quitting that much sooner.

Which is not to say I'm looking forward to the next few days. Rather, I am looking forward to the period after the next few days, when I've gotten through the worst of the chemical withdrawal and can concentrate on changing some of the underlying stuff.

So what I'll probably do is destroy any cigarettes I still have unsmoked at 7. That way, I know when Zero Hour will be.

I got a comment on the last post which kind of got me riled up, so I thought I'd just quickly go through some of the ideas I have about addiction, and what the process will be.

First, so we're clear: there is actual, physical pain involved. I am not being dramatic or whining by pointing this out. During my various quit attempts, I have seen migraines and digestive problems on top of a fairly typical ache in my chest, which is a nearly constant companion for days after the last cigarette is smoked.

The problem with the idea that it is all willpower is that there are many different aspects to addiction. The way I see it, you can use willpower to stop smoking, but actually quitting for good requires that you address all the other aspects of smoking that have become part of your life. Addiction changes the chemistry of your brain, your behaviors and moods. It shifts your priorities and becomes a part of who you are. These are the changes that take the most work. My smoking triggers are pretty much everything I do, so I have a lot of new behaviors to learn.

The idea that willpower alone is the magic bullet is a common one. I have believed it myself, and suspect this is one of the reasons for my myriad of failed attempts.

Anyway, yeah. Blah blah blah.

I'll write about something else soon. Promise.

In the meantime, I've put a poll into the left sidebar to let you decide the fate of the Monday Morning Haiku. Vote now!

Also: I want to put out an initial call for jury members for the upcoming GBA(s)FC #3. If you are interested in serving on the jury, drop me a line via email and let me know.

Blah, blah, quitting smoking, blah

Apparently I am still in quiet mode, away from my computer and somewhat uncommunicative. You have my continued apologies, Blogreader.

Mostly, I've been gearing up for the big quitting smoking thing on Monday. I'm trying to ensure that I have plenty of distractions on-hand—piles of books and dvds, crossword puzzles. Been tidying up as well, so that I don't have to think about that at all for the first week or so. I plan to sleep as much as possible during the worst of it, but last time I discovered that I was completely unable to sleep. Each time my body would relax and I would begin to drift off, my leg or whole body would jerk and I'd be awake again. This was the primary reason I broke down and bought cigarettes again: I just wanted to get some sleep. This all seemed perfectly rational at the time, except maybe the part where I kept smoking once I was sleeping again.

In case this particular problem returns, I'll have some nicotine patches handy. I sleep beautifully on the patch. The dreams are exceptional. Or maybe I'll just get drunk and see if that helps.

Looking back, it seems likely that the number of times I have attempted to quit smoking is greater than one hundred. I don't think I've ever made it past three days, even with nicotine replacement therapy (patch, gum, what-not). Obviously, my goal is significantly longer than three days this time.

I'll be using the blog as something of a diary of the quitting process, which may or may not be a good read for y'all. I hope it will be engaging or informative on some level, if only to remind some of you why you do not smoke, or to remind others of you why you have not quit smoking.

A wise friend of mine once said that quitting smoking requires that you constantly choose pain over pleasure. Knowing how readily the pain can be removed, that relief can be bought and administered within five minutes...well, that doesn't help much either.