Monday, July 16, 2007

Sooooon

I'm still a few hours away from stubbing out my last cigarette. My guess is 8 pm or so, depending on how much I try to slow down and make my remaining butts last. There is temptation on both sides, although most of the weight falls on the side of burning through them and quitting that much sooner.

Which is not to say I'm looking forward to the next few days. Rather, I am looking forward to the period after the next few days, when I've gotten through the worst of the chemical withdrawal and can concentrate on changing some of the underlying stuff.

So what I'll probably do is destroy any cigarettes I still have unsmoked at 7. That way, I know when Zero Hour will be.

I got a comment on the last post which kind of got me riled up, so I thought I'd just quickly go through some of the ideas I have about addiction, and what the process will be.

First, so we're clear: there is actual, physical pain involved. I am not being dramatic or whining by pointing this out. During my various quit attempts, I have seen migraines and digestive problems on top of a fairly typical ache in my chest, which is a nearly constant companion for days after the last cigarette is smoked.

The problem with the idea that it is all willpower is that there are many different aspects to addiction. The way I see it, you can use willpower to stop smoking, but actually quitting for good requires that you address all the other aspects of smoking that have become part of your life. Addiction changes the chemistry of your brain, your behaviors and moods. It shifts your priorities and becomes a part of who you are. These are the changes that take the most work. My smoking triggers are pretty much everything I do, so I have a lot of new behaviors to learn.

The idea that willpower alone is the magic bullet is a common one. I have believed it myself, and suspect this is one of the reasons for my myriad of failed attempts.

Anyway, yeah. Blah blah blah.

I'll write about something else soon. Promise.

In the meantime, I've put a poll into the left sidebar to let you decide the fate of the Monday Morning Haiku. Vote now!

Also: I want to put out an initial call for jury members for the upcoming GBA(s)FC #3. If you are interested in serving on the jury, drop me a line via email and let me know.

8 comments:

leatherdykeuk said...

I haiku daily
as an aid to hone my mind
to writing freely.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Moon,

You can do it! Just take it a step at a time. Everything's like that, though, isn't it? A step at a time.
Your body will feel so much better -bit by bit- as you go along and it rids itself of the toxins.
I wish you the best, I hope it isn't as difficult this time.

Keep us posted!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Verilion said...

Somebody also mentioned in your last comment section that the UK is a no smoke zone. Aaaahh! It's now getting to the stage where walking is becoming synonymous with smoking. But I could send my Dad over, he has this look on his face when I spark up that makes me feel SO GUILTY.

Minx said...

You want sympathy and stories? Sheesh!

sognatrice said...

Best of luck. My mom quit smoking 16 years ago last month...as we say in Italy, forza!!!!

Poetess said...

Hi

Good luck with quitting smoking.

You have a vibrant space here. loved visiting.

Poetessxxxx

liz fenwick said...

Good luck...thinking of you.

The Moon Topples said...

Leatherdyke: They sure are fun, huh?

Scarlett: Thanks for the support. I'm sure it'll come up on the blog as I move through this process.

Ver: We'll save your Dad for if I fail. Sounds like a decent backup plan, though.

Minx: I require no sympathy. As to stories, I don't need any of those until August. I was only asking for Jury Members to step forward. Jeez.

Soggy: Thanks. Tell your mom congrats as well.

Poetess: Thank you, and thank you again. Hope we'll see you again.

Liz: Thanks.