Saturday, January 20, 2007

An attempt on my life

I returned to the coffee area on Friday with one eye partially open, bleary and needing caffeine. They keep the sugar and powdered cream whitening chemical on a shelf. This was the sight which greeted me:

You may not be able to see the part I found so alarming: the red container, which is similar in many ways to the others, contains "coarse-ground sea salt." Sorry for the phone pic, but I needed to document this before the Workers knew I had seen through the ruse.

So I ask you, Blogreader: was this meant as a prank or an assassination attempt? I'd like to believe that this is an innocent condiment misfiling, but the regular salt and the pepper are kept far from this area.

I almost put this in my coffee, which would have been a perfect capper to my work week. My pants split as I was getting into the car on Thursday night. They tore themselves in two right along the left-hand back pocket. I left my home that morning wearing one of my favorite pairs of jeans, and returned home wearing garbage.

The picture of my desk from an earlier post is now my desktop background on the steam-powered "computer" at work, which now goes to sleep sometimes while I am working. At least that way I can pretend that I'm still living the life I had just a short time ago, when life was beautiful and I slept all day and worked at night.

You know, like a normal person.


Caroline said...

Please don't work there anymore. I think that they are trying to dry out your creativity with that salt. It's not good.

Liz Dwyer said...

Your pants split? Sounds like "Perky Worker" has probably made a voodoo doll out of you now that she knows you don't watch Idol.

The Moon Topples said...

Caroline: I'm not worried. I've outfoxed them so far.

Liz: Is this what they learn on American Idol? To make actual Idols? Now it makes more sense.