Thursday, August 31, 2006

Bunnies, porn, hockey and "softwear"

Rich said he likes the posts where I click "Next Blog" and report on my findings. He also thought my passport post was ghost-written by a nice person until the thing about dental hygiene. Since blog-hunting has thus far proven a quick and easy way to be mean to a bunch of strangers, and that it's the closest to a running topic that I have, I guess I'll sate his appetite.

My first three attempts all got me the car insurance page. Someone clearly wants me to think about my rates. Undaunted, I press on.

"Somewhere in NJ" - A nice blog by a lady who seems very sweet, a lot like some of the ladies I've worked with in suburban offices. Her latest post is about how adorable miniature trees are, and it starts with a poem. The one before that is entitled "Mid-week Bunny Fix," and has a picture of two rabbits snuggling with the caption "Happiness is meant to be shared." The article after that is about scrapbooking. I feel the need to point out that scrapbooking is not really a word, but decide not to post a comment saying that, as it is not my intention to randomly antagonize people. Seriously, it isn't.

Next up is "Liu Liu" which has, like most of the blogs I've looked at, only one post. Dated tomorrow, which I guess is fairly impressive. It is, in its entirety, an essay by Orson Scott Card about software companies. Or softwear companies, if you trust the headline more than Mr. Card. I try to ignore typos on these sites, since this place has no spell-check, and I myself am usually typing like the wind when doing a post, but "softwear" in the headline is a bad sign. The essay itself is pretty good (it's no Ender's Game) but without any personal comments before or after, one can only speculate as to why liu liu (if that is her real name) has decided to post it.

I am surprised that my next click brings me to an actual daily blog, called "The SBP Archives - Your Daily Dose of SBP." I guess the guy's initials are SBP. He's from Ontario and loves hockey and poker. What he doesn't like, according to today's post ("Worst Fashion Trend #2"), is men with shaggy hair. His comment on it is succinct: "Awful. The 70s called, and they're embarrassed." Accompanied by three images of men with shaggy hair, two of which I'm pretty sure are actually from the 70s, which would seem to undercut his point a bit. One is the picture at the top of this post. I'm not aware of any huge movement in which men decide to try to look like Sam Elliott, but maybe things are different in Canada. Then it's mostly poker, hockey and one about (sorry: aboot) a local baseball team. I go back more than a week, but cannot find "Worst Fashion Trend #1." My guess is sideburns. SBP and I don't have a lot in common, but this is still the first link I've gotten that I might click on again. But I'm pretty sure I won't.

Last up is something called Xirincs Portal, which features no fewer than three posts in a row entitled "INDEPENDENT FEMALE ESCORTS NEW JERSEY :: Director Wap Xirincs" and many, many links to porn. His profile says he's Romanian, and I wonder to myself if "xirincs" means "porn" in Romanian. The answer: it may as well.

So I'm starting to think that this isn't the short road to massive readership. I have no way to gauge how many of my friends read this, and no indication that anyone I don't know has ever stopped by, aside from my profile view count being at 84 coupled with my not knowing 84 people. It may be time to try a different tactic. Ideas?

6 comments:

CC2383 said...

yeah... sorry hon that post was boring. It's 7:30am here and I'm gonna need another cup of coffee to keep reading on to the end. Maybe you should try being funny. Or entertaining in some way, maybe a fashion advice column... just a thought.

Moon Topples said...

Well, we can't all have blogs that hit every time with everyone. In fact, I was just reading your blog and I...oh! Right, you don't have one. Too bad, really.

Moon Topples said...

Upon further review, this post does kind of suck. I wasn't feeling it, I guess.

Sure is long, though. So I have that going for me.

But no, I'm not gonna start a fashion advice column.

CC2383 said...

How about... movie/tv/music reviews?

I'm too busy and important at my job to have my own blog... oh wait, no i'm not, just too lazy. Commenting on yours gives me plenty to do!

I have a myspace page that has nothing on it...

Shannen said...

I haven't tried the "next blog" method, instead I tend to stumble into various blogs by clicking on the "Recently updated" scroll... find an interesting title and here i am... think your posts are amusing - will most likely visit again... I am from canada... not sure about the shaggy hair, but i am on the west coast... anyways.. saying hi! good luck with the novel...

Moon Topples said...

well, I'm delighted you stopped by, shannen. I'll try the "recently updated" thing soon. Although I probably won't mock them quite as much.

Canada has a west coast? Whatever for?

maht