Wednesday, August 30, 2006

This dog hates me

I walked over to Bite for a very late breakfast last week, and after my meal decided to step outside for a cigarette.

Tied to the bike rack was this dog. I'm not a big dog fan, but it was kind of interesting looking, so I snapped a quick picture of it. I thought about trying to pet it, but his tail wasn't wagging so I just watched him while I smoked.

At first he seemed unconcerned with me. There was traffic going by and he had his little pail of water. He spent a moment chasing a bug, as I recall. Again, it was a cool looking dog, of more or less the sort I imagine I would get if I were ever going to get a dog myself, so it was fun to watch him play for a couple of minutes while I smoked.

And then he was barking at me, and I remembered what it is I don't really like about dogs. He wouldn't stop. Something in the way he was doing it made it seem like maybe he wasn't angry or anything, but wanted to tell me something. But he wouldn't stop. He didn't lunge at me or anything, he just kept barking. Persistently barking and looking at me. I kept waiting for his eyes to light up or turn bright red or something.

The dog's owner came outside to see what was up. By this time I was standing 15 or 20 feet from it, trying to distance myself from the commotion.

"What the fuck did you do to my dog," he asked, not real friendly-like.

"Nothing. I...stood here." Although it was the truth, it even sounded like a lie to me. He went back inside and after a minute I did, too. I didn't feel any great need to finish my cigarette.

When I walked back in, everybody was staring at me, like I was gonna go "All right I did it! I hated that dog! I had to kick him, after what he did to my family! I just hated him so much!" Or maybe burst into a song describing my intent to make him into a hat or something.

"I did nothing to that dog," I announced to the room in what I hoped was an authoritarian tone, but which came out sounding an awful lot like "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." I can't recall many times when I have felt the need to address a restaurant full of people. But people kept staring at the terrible man who torments innocent dogs in the street, and before long I went home. I had somehow let a dog cast me as a villain in the eyes of my fellow patrons. This is exactly the kind of thing that encourages me to stay indoors a lot.

You know what I think? I think maybe he just doesn't like having his picture taken.



Anonymous said...

most animals object to having their souls stolen. evil bastard.

CC2383 said...

See I told you you were evil. Dogs can sense evil.

The Moon Topples said...


A much better use of your posts to call me evil. See how much better it works if it has something to do with the post?

However, phantom ian beat you to the punch by a whole day, so no prize for you.

CC2383 said...

nope, i called you evil on Wednesday.

CC2383 said...

you can send the prize to...