Thursday, March 01, 2007

Mud wrestling tip #75

When wrestling an opponent rather than an idea or concept, make sure that loose hair is tucked or pinned back.

Hair, especially long hair, can provide a convenient handhold for an opponent, which can give them an advantage. It can also transfer mud into your eyes and temporarily blind you, which can, again, be detrimental to success in the wrestling arena.

By the same logic, it is advised that one attempt to gain such a handhold on one's opponent. It makes things much simpler.

20 comments:

Shameless said...

And if there is no hair to tie back?

The Moon Topples said...

Shameless: That is the most ideal situation for mud wrestling. You know in advance that you are safe from this type of attack, and can concentrate on your own strategy.

Ms Melancholy said...

Mr Moon, you are so thoughtful. I have had my hair cut specially. Are you joining in, by the way? You are most welcome. This is fun for all.

The Moon Topples said...

Ms. M: I may participate, but I fear that my being knowledgeable enough to be offering tips might give me an unfair advantage.

Caroline said...

Oh thank you. Such a great tip. There are so many other factors to consider when participating in naked mud wrestling. But I will tie back my hair beforehand.
As it stands I am being chased and the battle is almost over. I am not fighting.
x

Minx said...

Ah yes, I find this when wrestling a doughnut, or similar oozing food. Hair cannot be simply tucked back out of the way especially if one is attempting to eat in a wind tunnel.
The last time I wrestled anyone was over a pair of shoes in the sales but I was wearing a hat at the time which I think confused my opponent. Maybe you should consider this?
An example of unfettered hair can be found on my blog at present. You will see that I do not have wrestling-type hair.

The Moon Topples said...

Caroline: Don't worry. I thought you guys decided that the real winners would be determined through mud wrestling, which is why I did this post, to help out my friends.

Minx: In the heat of battle, it is all too easy to lose a hat and be back with flopping hair and a disadvantage. This should be avoided.

goodthomas said...

Nothing. I got nothing on this one.

The Moon Topples said...

GT: Well, your hair is quite short. You were one of the first people I knew to get a "Bonto" hairstyle.

Caroline said...

what's that like?

The Moon Topples said...

Bonto-rific?

Caroline said...

oh that's perfectly clear now. Thanks ;-)
x

goodthomas said...

No, no, a Bonto is not pretty at all.

Curses.

The Moon Topples said...

The "Bonto" is a fairly conservative haircut which GT can pull off and I cannot. It was the haircut that made me shy away from getting another for a year.

Minx said...

Would you recommend a bun, then, sumo style? Or perhaps a nice chignon, or Princess Leia-type ear warmers - it could get chilly?

The Moon Topples said...

Minx: The Leia thing might work. Those were probably too big to be easily grasped by the hand of an opponent.

I doubt you'll get chilly, though. First off, your engaged in a wrestling match, and second you have a layer of mud to warm you up.

Chris said...

I'm like so screwed.

The Moon Topples said...

Chris :Do not lose heart. I refer you to the first 74 tips, most of which have nothing to do with hair.

SilverTiger said...

I was thinking of growing a poney tail but your wise words have helped me decide against this.

I do not engage in mud wrestling but moving about as a pedestrian in London sometimes resembles this. I would not like my hair to get caught in tube doors or be trampled on in the mêlée, so I shall return to a coiffure of Caesarean minimalism.

SilverTiger

swimmer6foot4 said...

Hello! I have long hair (half way down my back) but I quite enjoy having my hair pulled (and losing at naked mud wrestling) so my concept of success somewhat differs from that outlined by the author of tip #75. Thanks for the heads-up, though!