Friday, November 17, 2006

The Earth Topples

Stephen Hawking has been saying lately that we need to flee this planet within about 40 years or we are doomed. Then he goes "Doooomed!" again, in a creepy way. He says we need to establish a base on the moon and colonize Mars to prevent species extermination due to factors including global warming, nuclear war, viruses or other potential catastrophes.

Avoiding the obvious "cut and run" jokes, my question is this: is rocket fuel made from oil? Good, old fashioned liquified dinosaur oil? Because I've read that we only have 20 years of that left. Which would seem to indicate a need to depart that much sooner. And that wherever we might go, we'd be stuck there.

I have no idea how to pack for a trip of this magnitude. And I'm guessing moon rents tend to be a bit pricey. They aren't even listed in my newspaper, which makes me think it's one of those "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" things.

I'm concerned, if only because living on the moon would probably require me to rename my blog.


Unknown said...

Ah, but isn't The Earth Topples mighty catchy, though? Or how about The Earth Implodes?

Anonymous said...


I agree completely with Hawking, but I have a better plan.

First off, we've got to help get the word out: the Earth is doomed, everyone out of the pool.

BUT, just as the last space transport is about to take-off for Mars, you and I, and a select few that we went to let in on our little gag, PRETEND to get on the transport, we DON'T! I'm thinking that we make sure we're at the back of the line, and as people are boarding, we duck down behind a fake tree or something.

Then when the transport leaves, we have the WHOLE WORLD TO OURSELVES!!!!! WOO-HOO. See ya, SUCKERS!

Yeah, we'd be on a doomed planet, but we'd have 40 years to do whatever the hell we want. They couldn't POSSIBLY take EVERYTHING with them, so had have all this cool stuff! We could drive Ferraris as fast as we want, wherever we want. We could launch missiles of of aircraft carriers and blow-up little islands. We could throw anything we want off of the Sears Tower just to see it go SPLAT! We would OWN every roller-coater in the WORLD! It would be awesome!!

Your thoughts?


CC2383 said...

oooooooo Dirk that sounds like fun! Can I play too? I want to cruise around in an Aston Martin like James Bond blowing stuff up! Maybe learn to fly a helicoper too. The possibilities are endless!

The Moon Topples said...

Zorak: Implodes?!? What have you heard that I haven't?

Dirk: As much fun as it might be cruising around a post-apocalyptic wasteland with you, it sounds like we might run out of food before too long. Within a week we'd have nothing but candy and canned goods. We'd be grasshoppers without the ants. Plus, it seems like your terrifying vision of the future leaves my dating options even bleaker than they are now, with the Earth fully populated.

Still, the idea has its merits. And I would get to keep my blog name. Let me chew it over for a couple of days.

Unknown said...

With everything that we've done to the planet I figure it would implode with a giant sigh of relief after we vacated it.