The seventh
So things are coming together with my Xmas-burgling gang. I have six people at this point who are willing to take part in what will certainly be the crime of the century. Thanks and welcome to the new members of the team.
I still need a seventh. Looking at the demographics of the team I have assembled, and trying to be as diverse as possible, I figure I'm looking for an elderly person who is somehow handicapped and who is half black, half Asian, and half Latino. Ideally he or she should also have an accent of some kind, and lots of folk wisdom to dispense. And a flashlight.
So if you know anyone who fits this description, please don't hesitate to give me a shout. I'm hoping to find someone before our first meeting in a huge open warehouse with really cool lighting, which is scheduled for next Tuesday.
Did nothing at all for NaNo today. I just couldn't.
Please enjoy the picture, which is a cat burglar who got sloppy. Not even wearing a mask!
5 comments:
OK, against my better judgement...I'm in. I don't fit the ethnicity requirement, but by your own assessment, I am old and handicapped, and I own two flashlights. If you add in the fact that I wield a wicked cane in the shape of a gnarled tree branch, I think that qualifies me to be the muscle of this gang. I am assuming we split the spoils of this heist, which then gives me the Xmas of my dreams.
I believe Santa does overt equal opps by positively discriminating in favour of 'little people'.
Eljay: assuming we don't find someone more "diverse" by the end of the weekend, you're in. Bring both of your flashlights.
Julia: I'm not sure if you mean elves or children, but either way you have a point. Rest assured that we have plans for the fat man.
I've been mistaken for Latino and half-Asian, does that count? The Rock is half-black and half-Samoan, but looks 100% Samoan, so I guess I could pass as half-black too.
Although, I have to tell you, I would probably be the soft-hearted burgular in the group. You know, the one that goes along with the heist just to see that Christmas isn't harmed in the process? Kind of like the kidnapper in that Ransom movie that keeps feeding the hostage kid.
And ultimately, I would probably have a change of heart and betray my cohorts. Tragically, I would be killed taking a bullet meant for Christmas.
Yeah, so maybe I shouldn't be in. It's such a tough decision… I wish I lived in Britain.
Tiny Olive: Um, yeah. You're not in. I think it was the part where you say you'll betray us that ultimately made up my mind. We'll try to leave you some Christmas, though, since it's so important to you.
"A bullet meant for Christmas?" We're thieves, not killers. We only have two flashlights. Where on Earth would we find a gun?
Still, it might be nice to have someone yelling "Stop feeding Christmas!" at you every now and then.
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